Forgiveness Isn't Necessary: Why People You Have Disagreed With Are Golden Launch Pads

Instead of holding grudges against
challenging people we should be giving them
standing ovations for their diagnostic
genius in providing the perfect prescription for
what needs to be cleaned up within us.

While relaxing over the holidays, I was amused at the number of times that a previous acquaintance, co-worker, or friend came to my mind, with whom I had had a challenging encounter.  I support and admire all who truly forgive, but I am more amazed by the Law of Attraction's explanation of this dynamic. Forgiveness assumes the following flawed premise:  Somebody did something to us that was wrong and it assumes we have a grudge.

We are all subject to the laws of the universe, such as gravity. Another law, called Law of Attraction states that whatever we vibrate we manifest into our lives.  Our vibration is determined by what we think about, ponder, subjects of rumination - such as the past, present and future of our lives.  Therefore, whenever challenges enter our lives - people or events - we attracted them through our vibration.  Instead of holding grudges against challenging people, we should be giving them standing ovations for their diagnostic genius in providing the perfect prescription for what needs to be cleaned up.  Whatever ill feeling has occurred, we have just been given a solution equivalent to six months of therapy at ninety dollars an hour.

One process for accessing this solution, lies in the energetic explanation of Law Of Attraction.  When we experience an unpleasant emotion from a current circumstance or past remembrance, we launch a rocket of desire for a new and improved set of life conditions.  Once this rocket is launched, the universe responds and holds the completed, improved situation in vibrational escrow, a kind of a trust fund waiting for our emotional maturation.  Our goal is then to increase our vibration so that we are a vibrational match to this manifested vision.  Once this happens then we get access to the escrow or trust fund. 

Therefore, in the case of challenging human interactions the steps are as follows:

Step One:  Acknowledge The Rocket They Helped You To Launch: 

"Through my life experience with you I have given birth to something different. I am going to leave you where you are to tend to your own reality, while I hold to the new and improved vision that you helped me to conger.”

Step Two:  Acknowledge That Improving Your Vibration Will Heal All:

"Challenging Person, when I get so good at appreciating the rocket you helped me to launch, my challenges with you will become irrelevant and our former troubled relationship will become irrelevant, because I will have become a vibrational match to my dreams and they will be fulfilled."

One possible result of our new vision is that the person involved will change their behavior.  In other words, our improved vibration inspires a new way of being from this person as they interact with us.   The second way that our vision may manifest is through new people entering our lives.  There are a world full of beings out there who are already a vibrational match to what we want.  When we become a vibrational match to what we want, these beings must come to us. 

Step Three:  Increase Vibration:

There are clear easy to use processes, such as the Sedona Method and focus wheels, that help us improve our thoughts and emotions thereby increasing our vibration. Please see my blog dated August 11, 2010:  "Increasing Vibration" for a full explanation.  Also see my webpage which discusses releasing methods:  www.deborahbird.com, then click on "Terms"

The universe is orchestrating circumstances and events to accommodate us on every subject in the world – not just relationships.  If what we want is not coming to us, it’s not because we are deprived.  It is simply that we are a temporary vibrational mismatch to what we are seeking.  This brand new year I give not an olive branch to my challenging people, but a mint leaf, in gratitude for the fresh and lively new start that each and every one of them has inspired within me.  No grudges and no forgiveness necessary.  

Bossess With Fangs or Vibrations With Fangs

This blog will discuss:
1) The unknown causes of conflict with supervisors;
2) The steps for releasing the conflict;
3) How to relieve work stress.


Last week I received an email from a friend who is having challenges at work.  He relayed an email sent to him from his supervisor, which was rudely worded, demanding a set of engineering drawings from him in a short amount of time that everyone long ago agreed were unnecessary.  I took a deep breath and hopefully exhaled one hundred percent of my former work life.  As my friend is a conscientious, thoughtful and spiritual person, I also felt relief that people can be good and still be mistreated by management.  In other words, I was not a bad person because I had a long string of bosses, who could have successfully auditioned for the role of Frankenstein just by being themselves.  By harnessing the law of attraction and following the below steps, I have eliminated this dynamic from my life.

When dealing with work place conflict, the first step is to understand that the goal in all our endeavors is to take the path of least resistance.  The way we gauge our path is by our emotions.  As much as possible, we should feel like we are swimming downstream instead of upstream, or we should feel good; we should feel ease and flow.  When we have that upstream feeling or feel unpleasant, we need to find better feeling thoughts.  The key is to remember it is your emotional journey that matters.  Your emotions determine your personal vibration on a given issue.  When your vibration rises to a higher level, then you float towards your natural abundance.

For example:  Your boss sends you a preposterous email stating several things that aren’t true and starts blaming you for some long held guideline that they originally established, but now have decided they don’t like anymore.

To cross the threshold into the emotional journey where your freedom lies, you must accept that it doesn’t matter who is right and who is wrong.   The truth is irrelevant and your attempts to demonstrate that you are upholding the truth do nothing but dig a grave. Yes, sad but true  .... where is Abe Lincoln when you need him. You must accept that you are not there to show what needs to be fixed and fix it.   Let go of how wrong your boss is because its contaminating your mind; it is an upstream thought. See the following Youtube for a good explanation of this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvBhqsa_1zE&feature=related

As someone who has dedicated my life to spiritual pursuit,  it was hard to accept  that honesty, kindness, and charity, did not lead to a good life.  In my old thinking, those who did good in the world built good karma and those who did evil built bad karma, resulting in a good or bad life respectively.   We see the same kind of logic in the Christian traditions with:  “Your reap what you sew.”  Rather than advising people to let go of concepts they may hold dear, I advise that they see them peacefully co-existing with new concepts.   I have found that goodness and virtue are irrelevant in determining what manifests in life.  I am not recommending that they be discarded.  Virtues have significance, just no creative power. 

Moreover, for those who have studied leading edge methods of creation, I have found that visualization, affirmations and prayer take a back seat in creative power to the power of the second by second stream of thoughts washing through us, usually unobserved.  When I began watching, I became aware of a tsunami of negative thoughts:  reruns on past occurrences that were usually belittling in some way, judgments of others, complaints about my current situation.

In order to swim downstream, you must find pleasing thoughts.  In the case of my friend, workplace conflict is a repeating pattern for him, to the point where he has been let go numerous times.  Since the condition of our lives in this moment shows us what our thought patterns have been previous to now, I know that he has been regurgitating the past.  When something hurtful happens to us, we tend to remember it, ponder it, defend it, and try to figure out who is right and who is wrong.  All this does is create more of it. 

The healing of this is threefold: 1)  Welcome the negative thought, or allow it to peacefully exist, side by side with you for a few moments.  For a detailed explanation of welcoming see the "Terms" section of:  www.deborahbird.com,  2)  Then focus on some aspect of your boss that is pleasing, however small:  He is a good writer, his communication is clear, he keeps his office very neat, I like his taste in briefcases.   You can then begin to do a focus wheel.  See for detailed description of how to do a focus wheel, see blog dated 8/4/10 “Burning Up The Gap”.  3) Look at the day from the perspective of a sculptor.  Every day you wake up and you have the opportunity to sculpt a perfect life.  In this case, the clay is your thoughts. Everyday when I wake up I say:  “Today it is my primary intent to focus on things which are pleasing to me.  By appreciating my life and all the beauty in my environment, I am accessing an incredible power that has the ability to sculpt a beautiful future for myself.  I use to participate in sloppy creating by letting my thoughts run wild in remembering, justifying or figuring out the past. Now I see them as incredible creative tools and today I will use them properly.”  Now, according to Abraham-Hicks, you have exchanged the power that creates worlds for the peanut gallery that wasn’t helping you anyway.  By applying these processes, you will reach the place where you have a positive, nurturing work environment.

When conflict arises, it certainly warrants an attempt at discussion and understanding.  If your boss’s lights are on, there will be a meaningful exchange and you will hear one another, and there will be movement.  If their lights are not on, you will get bizarre statements in response to your questions, your boss will blame you, talk over you and not listen.  The situation will be worse than when you started. If the lights are not on, make no further attempts at verbal resolution.  Respond politely and accurately to all requests for information and float above all attempts to ignite you into defense and debate.

 Your boss has just shown you what needs to be cleaned up in your vibration for you to move forward in this life.  You don’t have a Frankenstein boss; you have a Frankenstein vibration surrounding the issue of bosses. Lucky you, you have just clearly identified how to float downstream, where all your abundance awaits you – who wants to stay in the same old stuck place – congratulations!  Freedom is around the corner…… with love to my dear friend Victor!